59/ teachers who understand stress make me happy.

Mrs Bal is one of the nicest teachers I've ever had. For those of you who don't know, the 4u draft that was due in, I handed in a day late, and she and St Louis were so understanding about it. They didn't rage at me, they didn't force me to drop the subject.. and then again, I had to hand in my journal but it's really un-updated, so I was avoiding Mrs Bal for basically all of this week. She found me today, and for someone to tell her that their 4u was not a priority nor was it up to standard AT ALL, and knowing this person had been avoiding her all week.. she was really nice about it.

I think I hate how I disappoint my teachers all the time. Doyle, especially, for maths. There is nothing I want more than to do better in maths for her, for my parents, for tutor, for myself. I really hate how I can't understand maths because everyone else can do it! So what's wrong with me? Why can't I get this? I understand it if people tell me the answer and how to do it step-by-step, but anything else, and I just sit there and think that all of it is in a different language. Not many things make me happier than getting a difficult maths question correct by myself.

Getting 3u maths marks back today, I was eerily calm about it. Maybe it's thinking that I can drop it anytime. Maybe it was knowing that I didn't do the worst. I'm not sure. But I know that talking to Doyle afterwards about it.. I so want to do better. Every single time, I want to be able to get maths. I'm disappointed that it's not working out for me. I was pretty happy with my history extension mark though, and was disappointed with Ancient =_=;

Actually looking back, I realize that all my teachers impact me so much on my decisions in life. For example, history. I've had absolutely fantastic history teachers all the up to now, which is why, I suppose, I love history - reading and learning about it and just absorbing how and why people did things in the past. Science on the other hand, was pretty dismal. I had a few alright teachers, but it never really caught my interest, and I realized that by looking at all the credits I got from the UNSW comps back in primary for science, that subject was never really my thing - even though I absolutely adored astronomy and I used to think that 'atom' was the coolest word ever made. (Dont ask. I have no idea why, either. I just remember that I wrote down a list of what I thought were the nicest sounding words back in about year 5 and Im absolutely certain that atom was on the list.) I'm also pretty certain that I learnt all my science off the Magic School Bus episodes.

Updating 4u journal

Trial HSC Ancient Notes

Trial HSC History Extension Notes

Have my Muck up clothes

Something to hand in to Mrs K for history ext

Compile previous English essays (2u/ 3u) - print and edit if necessary.

Start writing English creatives - Belonging/ NTG

History Extension Major Work

Notes for Eng 3U

Notes for Eng 2U bar the Hughes essay

Trial HSC Economics Notes

For the rest of the two weeks until trials:

Revise as much maths as possible

Drop 3u maths if necessary

PAST PAPERS

REVISE NOTES

I hope this timetable is doable +_+. This is what I get for not working hard enough from all these junior years until now.

CANNOT wait for the weekend. I just have to get through tomorrow, which really, isn't that bad. First pd free for sleeping, second- 4u eng, third- maths with kim, fourth- ancient, fifth- 2ueng, sixth- maths with kim, seventh- eco, probably bludge-y because it's friday and it's last period. I'll have to get coffee for tutoring though =_=; need to get my head in the game for maths.

For now, 4u english journal updating it is.

x